CITY WHISPERS: Bank reports make Tolstoy’s War And Peace look like light reading… award for longest – weighing in at 523 pages – goes to Barclays

It’s been a combined reporting season for Britain’s Big Four banks – NatWest, Barclays, Lloyds and HSBC.

But overlook the income – City sorts might be properly conscious that the lenders have all now launched their annual reports and accounts. These are at all times hefty tomes. This yr the award for the longest report – weighing in at a doorstopping 523 pages – goes to Barclays.

Combined, the reports of the 4 banks add as much as a whopping 1,764 pages.

Writing on the wall: This year the award for the longest report goes to Barclays

Writing on the wall: This yr the award for the longest report goes to Barclays

The web page depend is longer than Tolstoy’s War And Peace. Or greater than twice the variety of pages in James Joyce’s masterpiece, Ulysses.

Or you can as an alternative learn JRR Tolkien’s The Hobbit and The Lord Of The Rings trilogy and nonetheless have some pages spare.

Pity the poor retail traders who’re eager to search out out extra concerning the banks and must wade by all of it. They should surprise the place to begin.

M&S boss nonetheless schmoozing society set

Marks & Spencer boss Stuart Machin is used to schmoozing the society set, however final week he took it up a notch by eating with veteran actors Joan Collins and Christopher Biggins at Rules, London’s oldest restaurant.

Whispers wonders whether or not Joan is having her arm twisted to look in one other M&S advert after starring within the 2002 Christmas business alongside celebs together with Denise van Outen and Graham Norton.

She already sells her make-up line in M&S shops. Either approach, it made for a superb tweet, eh Stu?

Bad and weird information for Petra 

More unhealthy and weird information final week regarding Petra Diamonds’ Tanzanian mining operations.

The agency mentioned it could put aside virtually £5 million to pay for injury precipitated final yr by the bursting of a dam holding waste from its Williamson mine.

Fortunately nobody died or was severely injured, however a number of the native space continues to be uninhabitable and Petra is having to fund humanitarian aid.

In a separate piece of dramatic information, Petra mentioned it had bought wind that a part of a parcel of diamonds that was confiscated in a hoo-ha with the Tanzanian authorities a number of years in the past has now been offered.

The firm is frantically looking for out extra info. The remainder of the City is definitely eager for an finish to the thriller too.

Matt Moulding lifts lid on caffeine habit

THG founder Matt Moulding has lastly set the report straight on his caffeine habit.

His reputed 20 pictures a day rose to 30 after the e-commerce agency’s itemizing – ten triple-shot flat whites.

Some might say it explains why the shares have misplaced their froth, languishing at a tenth of the float value.

Aside from struggling any ill-effects of extreme consumption – anxiousness, irritability, tremors and insomnia – Moulding was clearly spending a lot time ordering and guzzling his espresso he had little left for the rest.

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He’s now ditched his repair. Let’s hope that offers the shares a brand new excessive.

                                                                             Contributors: Patrick Tooher and Archie Mitchell 

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